


Morning Mane-tenance

by PurpleFunkyDishwasher



Category: TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band)
Genre: Crusader Verse, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22613695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleFunkyDishwasher/pseuds/PurpleFunkyDishwasher
Summary: A glorious mane has to have glorious upkeep.This work is best consumed with a side of smooth jazz.
Kudos: 14





	Morning Mane-tenance

First in, last out.

That wasn’t the plan.

The real plan was: first in, take however long he needs, then let other people do what they need to.

The others had thrown what felt like hundreds of reasons that they should be allowed to use the bathroom first, but none felt as important as his.

Besides, if they  _ really _ wanted to get in, they’d wake up before him.

Only Sung had beaten him once by waking up as soon as the sun began to rise, but he had started to fall asleep by sunset the same day. He hadn’t been challenged since.

He pressed play on the portable stereo. He took a deep breath in as the sweet sounds of smooth jazz began to fill the room.

And out.

Meouch opened the cabinet, ignoring the bits and bobs that belonged to Sung and Phobos - their belongings an erratic mess that Sung, at least, said there was a system to. Unlike them, Meouch’s possessions were laid out perfectly. One by one, in order of use - those that were not daily products pushed over to the side, those which were most important stacked at the top, and those of least import down the bottom.

And, one by one, Meouch took the products from the cabinet and laid them on the surface beneath - as they had been in the cabinet, they were on the countertop.

Fingers came down to the tap and water soon rushed out. He cupped his paws together and splashed the cold water onto his face.

Sighed.

It was too early. Just as it was every morning.

Eyes still closed, he felt around for the face cloth. Once he could feel the softness beneath his paw, he picked it up and dried off his face.

That helped wake him up, just a little.

Next, the brush. This part was  _ always _ fun.

He lifted his head ever so slightly and began brushing from the bottom of his mane. It had taken him too many years to learn that this was the best way to brush hair of any kind - human, alien, lion, or even lion alien - to avoid the knots. He’d learnt the hard way too.

If only someone had been around to teach him proper hair care routines instead of making a fool of himself all these years.

Admittedly, he hadn’t cared too much in the past.

Meouch worked his way up.

_ So far so good. _

Softly he began to hum along to the music. Becoming a little careless as the brush came up to the side, but if he hadn’t come across any problems yet then it was unlikely that any were going to-

The brush stuck.

Meouch growled.

First knot of the day. Why couldn’t he ever have this go smoothly?

A knock came from the door.

Meouch ran the brush through the knot again. Maybe it was just a small one.

‘Meouch?’ Of course, Sung was always the first one to bother him.

‘I’ll only be a minute.’

No luck. The brush stuck on the knot again.

_ Damn it. _

‘See, the problem is, you say that every morning, and I only need to shower-’

‘Can’t it wait?’

He lifted up the outer layers of his mane.

‘Well yeah, of course, but-’

‘Then you can wait.’

The problem was bigger than he’d expected.

‘I’ve got a bit of a problem here.’

‘Oh - do you, uh, do you need some help?’

Meouch opened the cabinet again and grabbed a detangling spray. ‘I don’t think you’d be too much help here.’

He sprayed a generous amount onto his mane, probably more than the bottle recommended.

‘Can I just wait here then?’

‘Knock yerself out.’

Next from the cabinet - the comb.

Just like with the mane as a whole, he began at the bottom of the knot, working his way up. And, just like with the whole mane, he got partway up when the come refused to budge.

He sighed again, this one much more irritable than the last.

_ You pay a fuckin’ fortune for this crap and it never works. Next time I buy this shit it’s gonna be from Cousin Itt. That ball of hair would have the good shit. _

He pulled the comb gently away from the fur, and started again. Bottom to top, maybe this time with better results-

Nope.

‘Hey, uh, Meouch-’

‘What?’ he growled.

‘I’ve got Phobos with me-’

‘Tell him what I told you.’

‘You can’t tell him yourself?’ A beat. From behind the door he could hear whispers. ‘No, it’s okay, you can go ahead of me, I think you need it more than I do- I know I smell bad, but I can deal with it for a little longer- hey, my stench is  _ not _ that bad!’

Meouch closed his eyes again.

Deep breath in.

And out.

He focused on the jazz.

Smooth, smooth jazz.

This called for more extreme measures.

He gripped the comb harder, gritted his teeth.

_ One, two, three… _

_ Pull! _

He yanked the comb a little  _ too _ hard.

‘Fuck!’ he roared, and the whispers outside came to a halt.

‘You alright in there, buddy?’

‘’m  _ fine _ ,’ Meouch growled as he looked down to the comb.

There was a chunk of fur he wasn’t getting back any time soon.

He threw the comb down and gripped the edge of the sink.

Eyes closed.

Deep, pained breath in.

Deep, pained breath out.

He rubbed the side of his face, but it wasn’t really helping the pain to subside any quicker.

Again he grabbed the brush. And again it was gliding through his mane, though he took it easy around the problem area.

No more large knots encountered - the small ones were easy enough to deal with.

‘Meouch-’

‘What now?’ there was still an edge to his voice.

‘Sorry to bother you again, but Havve is here now - not really sure why, guess he was just feeling left out. But - oh, he says if you don’t open the door soon he’ll tear it off. Seems like he’s more sick of the commotion Phobos and I are making than the time you’re taking.’

Meouch took the lid off a jar of coconut oil and lifted a small amount out onto his fingers. ‘That doesn’t sound like my problem.’

‘Well it could be, if you wanted privacy in there.’

Meouch sighed as he applied the oil to his mane.

He took a look at his mane in the mirror, tousled it up a little bit more. He wanted it to look good, but not like some asshole that had more time than sense; he had a bit of a reputation to uphold, even now.

‘Oh god, he’s serious - Havve, we can’t afford to get the door fixed again!’

Back on went caps and lids, and into the cabinet everything went just as neatly as it had been before.

‘There’s a handle! If you’re gonna break anything make it the lock!’

Meouch pressed the stop button on the portable stereo, and mourned for the lost time to listen to such calming music. He could really use it.

‘Don’t just pull it off the hinges!’

Meouch unlocked the door.

The commotion from the other side stopped.

And it swung inward with a  _ bang _ against the wall as Meouch finally opened the door.

Everybody - including Havve - stared.

‘It’s all yours,’ Meouch growled.

‘Hey Meouch, you’re not looking too good - was everything okay in there?’

‘Fucking fantastic.’

And Meouch walked out.

Sung peered into the bathroom. ‘You, uh, left a chunk of fur on the counter-’

‘It’s not my fucking problem.’

Nor had it been last week, or the week before that.

Some mornings felt like groundhog day. Meouch thought his mornings would go a little smoother if he wasn’t being bothered for the bathroom while trying to uphold a rigorous mane care routine. In return, the others felt like it would be much easier if they were allowed into the bathroom first.

Friendships didn’t come with bumps and bruises and, when push came to shove, they wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
